Driver Jatt

30k new queries in one weekend!

This is how we got 30k hits on the website in just one weekend. I am now a website traffic generating guru, and I will teach you how you can be a guru too. For free.

30k.
30000.
Thirty thousand!

That is an impressive number, right? Well, for me it is anyhow. It’s the number of new customers that signed up with me over a single weekend.

These are the sort of website traffic figures those inbox people on LinkedIn claim to get you. Only my method works, and I shall teach it to you for free.

I never thought I’d “crack the code” on effective marketing and search engine optimisation to the point where I’d be writing this post. I can feel the envy of those who do this for a living. If they come across this post, they may be questioning their career choice and possibly their entire self worth.

How can it be?

They’ve dedicated their entire lives to honing their trade. And then some guy who wears petrol station sunglasses comes and does their job for them as a joke. But with amazing results, and not spending the budget of a small nation on SEO.

I’m going to be honest. It’s difficult remaining humble after rocking up these sort of figures, which I will teach you how to do too. For free.

The Big Reveal: My “Secret” Method

So, what’s the secret to getting this sort of traffic over a simple weekend?

Well, I must clarify.

Every single one of those new customers tried selling me Viagra, Bitcoin, and SEO ranking to be at the number one spot on Google. All 30 thousand of the messages had a variation of these three. Not a single one wanted anything delivered 😂.

They were so insistent that I felt obliged to just say “yes to all”. So I did. I’m now going to be extremely on heat, filthy rich, and on the first page of Google. Wohoo 🥳.

Your Step-by-Step Guide to “Success”

How can you do the same? Simple. Somehow put yourself in the crosshairs of spammers armed with sophisticated bots. Next, you too can be on heat, rich, and on the first page of Google without any effort. Just sit back and watch the offers for “enhancement” and fake riches roll in. It’s a foolproof plan.

The Serious Bit Underneath the Joke

On a serious note, spam bots are incredibly annoying, especially the ones that get past the captcha thingy. Thankfully my awesome IT folk are sorting it out. It’s a constant game of whack-a-mole, and it eats up time you’d rather spend on real work.

But this whole silly episode got me thinking about what real traffic looks like. Real hits don’t come from bots in a data centre. They come from a business owner in Bromsgrove who needs a last-minute delivery to a client in Burton. They come from a workshop in Wolverhampton searching for a Birmingham-based courier who won’t flake on a deadline.

That’s the traffic I want. The kind where someone actually types “urgent courier Birmingham” because they have a real problem, and they need a real person in a van to solve it. No bots, no Bitcoin schemes. Just a box that needs to be somewhere else, today.

So, if you’re one of those real people, you know where to find me. I might have petrol station sunglasses, but I’ve also got a reliable van and a map of the Midlands in my head. And I promise, my only offer is to get your stuff where it needs to go.

So, do you need a guy that’s on some serious heat, filthy rich and on the first page of Google? Naaa. Let him be 😁

Click on www.frigate-express.co.uk and use the calculator to quote you.

If you have any questions???? Get in touch.