It’s Not Stonehenge!

Driver Jatt

It’s Not Stonehenge. My own fault for having expectations.

I started the day in Birmingham. A couple of local collections, the usual grey industrial units. The last job was a stack of boxes for Salisbury. A good run, the kind that clears the head and the van. The plan, as always, was to finish up and get a mooch. Today’s target was the big one. Stonehenge. I have driven past it on the A303 a hundred times on the way back from the south coast, just a grey smudge in the distance. Today, leaving the Birmingham sprawl behind, I was going to actually stand there.

But by the time the last Salisbury box was dropped, it was nearing closing time. I was conflicted, internally. The classic courier debate, magnified by a long drive. The need for a proper explore versus the much louder need to head back towards Birmingham for food and warmth. The call of my own sofa was strong.

That is when I saw a sign. A small, brown heritage sign pointing down a side road. It said “Woodhenge”.

I was so excited. This was perfect. A secret, lesser-known henge. In my mind, I pictured Stonehenge but crafted from fantastic, giant bits of ancient oak. A wooded cathedral. I saw myself standing there, taking triumphant selfies to send to my wife. A proper discovery. A story to tell back in Brum. Perhaps I would get home and write an excellent article about this hidden gem.

It took me a while to find it. I drove past the field twice. It is not exactly prominent. I had to admit defeat and use Google to trace it down to a specific gate in a hedge.

Oh Em Gee.

I found what can only be described as the premature ejaculation of monuments. My excitement died there and then. It was replaced with a feeling of being so greatly underwhelmed I almost laughed.

There are no mighty oaks. What you find are a series of small, concrete posts sticking out of the grass. They mark where the original wooden posts once stood. That is it. It is an archaeological plan, drawn on the earth. Sure, it is important. It serves a purpose. It tells experts a story about what was here 4,000 years ago. I get it. Now, I do not wish to offend anyone at all, but seriously. When you have built it up in your head as a wooden Stonehenge, the reality is a bit of a let down. It is a site for the imagination, and mine had clearly done too much work.

So, Stonehenge remains unchecked on the list. Woodhenge is now checked, with a big, mental question mark next to it. I did not take a selfie. I just looked at the concrete stumps for a minute, nodded at the sheer audacity of my own disappointment, and got back in the van. The sat nav was set for Birmingham. The heater would be on all the way.

I will let the pictures do the talking. Or the lack of it.

Have a lovely weekend, folks. I am going home.